I asked the questions that matter of Gregg Maxwell Parker! But first, the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08293MG6N?ref_=pe_7171740_475466610
Now, we ask!
Nice to meet you, Gregg! Let’s get to know you better! Were you the class clown or teacher’s pet?
I was actually very quiet in school. I used to whisper jokes to my friends, who would then turn around and repeat them to other kids and get big laughs. I didn’t really come out of my shell until college, when I became the annoying monster I am today.
I’m sure a lot of readers wonder if I actually did any of the stuff in “Troublemakers.” The answer is no, it’s mostly made-up nonsense.
There was a time in high school when my friend Mike and I stole a copy of the history test our class was taking the next day, then divided up the questions and met up that night to fill in the answers ahead of time. The only trouble was that he didn’t actually look up the answers, just put what he thought they were, and we ended up getting worse grades than my friends who took the test without cheating. I blame our teacher, Mr. Kingery, for leaving copies of the test lying around for us to swipe – if he’d been more careful, I probably would have gotten an A on that exam.
Lesson learned! Which Beatles song describes you?
Did they write the song, “Good-looking Guy Who’s Awesome And Sexy And Everybody Loves Him?” That one.
We will pretend they did, because the Beatles are awesome! Shark diving, bungee jumping, or sky diving?
I have been bungee jumping once. It was in Krakow, Poland, in the middle of the city, and the whole operation was just a crane set up in an abandoned lot. When they were attaching the cord to my legs, I was really nervous, so I said, “You’re double-checking that’s secure, right?” and the guy said “Nah, we’ve been getting drunk all day, we don’t know what we’re doing.” I understood he was kidding, but still, NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES, YOUNG MAN!
Also, before you go up, they weigh you first, then write your weight on your hand in Sharpie so the guy running the crane can see it and verify you’ve been checked. That was a real wake-up call that it was time for me to lose some weight. I spent 3 days feverishly scrubbing my hand with soap before I could remove the big “98” I’d been branded with (kilograms, dummy).
A scary ride in more ways than one! What would you tell your younger self?
Sell those baseball cards now. They’re going to be worthless in the future.
Many would have benefited from that advice no doubt! What’s your favorite cheesy pick-up line? Have you ever used it for real?
Once, when I was on spring break in college, I convinced a girl that I invented Eggo Waffles. The key to a convincing lie is to double-down on every absurd detail so hard that the other person can’t imagine that anyone would ever go to the trouble to invent such a baffling story.
Also, when I was single and using dating apps, I did very well with “What’s your favorite dinosaur?” You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they want to participate in a debate about velociraptor vs. dilophosaurus.
Advice to those who are dating! What superpower would you like to have for a day?
The ability to know who farted. The lies end now.
That might be a villain power…What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
“I’m Not Dead They’re Burying Me Alive Please Help”
An excellent choice! Thank you, Gregg, for talking quirky with us! Support Gregg by checking out the book and links! Then, grab a shovel and join us next Friday for another interview!
Happy reading! 🙂