I asked the questions that matter of Sandeep Jayaram! But first, the book: https://www.amazon.in/dp/B08YJ5S2DP/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=Chicken&qid=1615368349&refinements=p_36:12124267031&rnid=12124266031&s=digital-text&sr=1-2
Now, we ask:
Welcome, Sandeep! What is the weirdest scar you have and how did you get it?
Inch-wide scar on my forehead on account of being tossed by a cow.
Setting? Childhood. Summer vacations. Ancestral village.
Our cow, Mahalaxmi, had given birth to a calf, Gauri, a few weeks ago. Gauri was pretty friendly and I would take every chance to hug her. Though seemingly unaffected–at least that’s what I thought–her mother ended up butting me. Result? I took a small flight and landed a few metres away. The scar still remains. Evidence that cows are gun molls dressed up in leather.
That’s a moo-ving story! (Sorry) Next question! What’s your biggest screw-up in the kitchen?
Meat on the ceiling.
Setting? Teenage. At home. Following mom’s instructions.
This resident male had, on that fateful day, been entrusted with the rather simple task of cooking the dog’s food. Of course, mom hadn’t factored in the cricket match on TV. Completely immersed in the game, I ignored the whistling sound assuming it was from the spectators at the stadium.
Result? During the lunch break, I sauntered into the kitchen to find chunks of meat dropping off from the ceiling. The pressure cooker had blown up.
That story was a blast! (I really am sorry!) What’s the color of your toothbrush?
White with a red band.
Setting? Bathroom. Maid in the house. My first battery-operated toothbrush. While the colour of the toothbrush doesn’t really have a significant role to play, ‘your toothbrush’ does set off memories. I was in complete panic because the batteries in my toothbrush had failed. The maid saw me flapping about and asked what the matter was. I told her, irritated with her interference. Her response was to use the toothbrush the way normal people do.
Result: Face as red as the red band on the electric toothbrush.
A brush with embarrassment! (I’ll stop…) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
Haha, it’s perfect! (See? I stopped) What is your favorite smell?
Halston Z 14.
Setting? Days before the mobile phone. Pleasantly ticking over in nervousness. Visiting a girl.
I was on my way to her apartment. It was on the first floor of a building, overlooking the parking spaces. She was ultrafabulous but I could never bring myself to become a title contender. That fateful day, she opened the door a full ten seconds before my finger reached for the bell. Surprised, I asked how she knew I’d come. I could smell you, she said. I went, Bad? She shook her head and her hair cascaded around her like in that poem, The Highwayman.
Result? Sometimes fragrances do what words can’t.
An interesting way to start a date! When was the last time you got the giggles at an inappropriate time?
At a funeral.
Setting? A few years ago. Body laid out for last respects. Mourners around.
My intention was to head out for a drink with a friend. Coming down the steps from his apartment, we found out one of his neighbour’s had passed away. As he felt it was only right to go in and offer his condolences, he asked me to join him. At about this time, a really fat mourner was attempting to bend over to touch the feet of the dear departed. This is a Hindu thing. Anyway, the man was clearly struggling. There appeared to be some invisible force that held him back from achieving his goal. In a second, all guesswork ceased as the seat of his pants tore wide open with a sound resembling the mating call of a velociraptor. I burst out laughing.
Result? Swift and firm ejection from said premises.
Oh, my! Sometimes the laughs just burst out like a sneeze! What is one of your favorite quotes?
Well, it’s my own. Casual text can lead to a pun in the oven.
Sound advice! Thank you, Sandeep, for making us smile today! Support Sandeep by checking out the links below! Then, put your puns in the oven and join us again next week for another interview!
Happy reading! 🙂